The last three wines, a 2011 Fleurie from DeBouef, a 2011 Cadet D'Oc pinot noir from Rothschild, both disappointments, and the Pinot from WineBow corked, taken more for medicine and for energies toward housekeeping, over the last two evenings let-downs.  Saved by Jeffrey Wright's performance in Cadillac Records.  Just something very human about him, a man who has lived, with broad shoulders.

Friday happy hour I gather the groceries and then sit outside reading my blog on my phone as people drink beer and snack and young families come and go.  What is the secret of being normal, to having places to go?

But the reality is that we are spiritual beings, that the Ego is illusion, that a separate self is an illusion, and we all must one day come home to this reality, that life cannot be lived selfishly.   It's only that some of us, through whatever practice, are more advanced, more open to it than others.

Jesus speaks from experience when he tells us about the concerns of the propertied wealthy man and his ensuing chances of getting it.  And we know it is not easy to be so unconcerned, as we imagine Jesus is, with material things, financial security, etc.  No, it is very hard and worrisome to be so.  So there must be rewards.  We may well imagine, just as easily as anything else, that Jesus was a practitioner of high Tantric sex, and we might even wonder how he would define sin as to the woman taken adultery.  Yes, he does tell her, go and sin no more, but what is the sin?  One interpretation could be that her sin is for not exploring the Tantric possibility, of rising the energy up from the earthy low chakra, through the procreative, up through the appetite's discernment, up through the emotional seat, then to the expressive seat, and then finally to the all seeing hidden third eye where wisdom and insight resides perfectly.  The first chakra, open, reveals the abundance of the world's offerings.  There is no shortage of pleasure when the first chakra is openly involved, and if the yogi makes the typical mistake as his breath rises, which happens, there is no need to worry and angst if he just made the yogini pregnant, soon with another mouth to feed.  The energy is not sidetracked from the spiritual to the societal measure of how many kids you can afford, how many to bring into the world, but rather, bring the message into the world.  "Bear with me," the practitioner must originally ask, awakening the serpent, the Shakti consort of Shiva.  Mary Magdalene washes his feet, anoints him.  Uh oh.  And she is paying attention to the perfect things.

Undisturbed, we have the greatest of high potential.  We take naturally to that most passive of actions, prayer, real honest prayer.  And all his work leaves Jesus open, open to the possibilities, the possibilities of even trying his hand at a few miraculous things, water into wine, healings, dispatching of unclean spirits, draughts of fish.  What do we see here but imagination, pure, clean, simple.


It is no wonder that the church bearing his name and keeping his sacrament of bread and wine would in the modern age come to have a problem, a great unhealthiness, perhaps brought on by the sins of materialistic thinking, hoarding riches and power.  That church would have the problem of its poor relationship with the Tantric, with Kundalini, with the low chakra.  It would be a haven of men naturally drawn to anal pleasure by their own chemistry and build-up, and nothing wrong with that.  But of course, the inability to accept, to speak, to engage, to look for the deeper meanings of the spiritual experience led to the most terrible of things, pedophilia.  The great misuse, the horrible abuse, of what potentially is the highest spirit.  Then on top of that the sins of empire itself, taxation, intimidation, secrecy, lies, the most horrible forms of denial, legal teams.

Thus it is that behind its conspicuous majesty, which one easily imagines Jesus wanting little to do with, not feeling the need beyond a simple place of worship, a river bank, a fisherman's hut beside a lake, a humble abode being fine with him as a place of practice.  And in a church, in a chapel like one for good humble St. Anthony, you wish there'd be a reference to the seven chakras and the Buddha's calm, to the root of all things, sly or not, still explainable to Jesus' favorite people, the children.  A yogi on hand for consultation and yoga mats.  Just as the Cross is a reference to the older Tree of Life prevalent in world religions.  It might be worth noting that the central depiction of him is that of a virtually naked person stretched out revealingly.  Why not take with us a happier picture, one's from our own experience as nearly naked people, having fun, enjoying the body?

Jesus to many people was a walking taboo.  And maybe he still is, to a society that doesn't want to go there.

What can you do?  Insights come to the non-conventional, and conventional can be described in different ways, amongst them the fuck, cum, smoke a cigarette kind of sexual experience not particularly prolonged.

Jesus was a wine-drinker.  Perfect self-control was not a necessary thing to him, no more than you or I.  He got the pleasurable social aspect that calls for wine in God's celebration of human doings and marriages.

Insights come.  What do you do with them?  You're not, by nature, interested in personal gain through them.  You're not some Martha Stewart empire (not that there's much wrong with her) of retail spiritual insight monetized and available at Kmart.  You just wish to share clean good health.

Does it take a therapist to change your attitude toward your own ability for spiritual insight?  Can you move from that awkward feeling you get when asked 'what have you been up to' by a serious person. "Uhm, err, I have been kind of like writing down, in a sort of diary these, uhh, I dunno, spiritual insights, I guess you'd call them.'  Make the joke of how Jesus must have been Irish Catholic, hanging out with drinking buddies all day, an unemployed carpenter.  But Jesus, obviously, is perfectly fine with it, a habit from his childhood, no one to stand in his way.  At his father's business.   Cool with it. Comfortable with himself.

It's almost as if you have to go through a depression, for the foundation to be dug down so it stands on bedrock.


How outlandish he might have appeared to the city, the material beast.  No wonder he is pictured as turning things upside-down.  Completely outlandish fellow, completely unconventional, but also compelling.  Pleasurable.  Arrived to teach whatever he had to teach.  Calm.

Reading between the lines, the Disciples were gentlemen.  They allowed Jesus to be Jesus, to be himself.  The typical co-worker older brother skepticism is not there.  No 'you sure about that?'  No 'you're crazy.'  No 'are you gay, stupid, broke, living on borrowed time...'