That then is the problem, that life is bent in order so that you would really come to understand very well the necessity for Buddhist enlightenment thought. Life as it was shaped was a great teacher, and just like Gautama the young prince you get exposed to the suffering of life, and of course you can try and run from it, or think you can master all circumstances, but some of us get early on that you can't really do that. No odder it should to happen to you than it should happen to the young prince, coming across illness, old age, the corpse. Thus is life asking us to realize something important. And it is a blessing when the basic need for enlightenment stirs within, a latent budding. Then you realize that the shape of life isn't about the sadnesses or the hard facts of life, but about the learning in such things.
So was it an interesting situation to be a bartender, who, on the one hand, is supposed to be the entertainer sometimes, dishing out a cup of soothing distraction as if offering relief from life's realities, and on the other hand, probably better, sounder, the role of being there, a kindly person, a listener, someone to share the long day at the office. I'd never bought into the idea that bars are about happy escape, knowing vices lead to misery and shame. Things which I inevitably suffered from, back when I too was tempted to escapism.
I know: a bar can be a great stage for loud juvenile simian behavior, rife with old superstitions, old demon gods. But I suppose, or I hope, that the same scene can be made gentler--a test for humanity--where people can talk about deeper things, personal things. The flaw is the alcohol, but with wine, with the approval of Jesus, maybe good things are possible, to be decided on an individual basis. Wine does relax, but it causes a thirst for more, which amounts to hiding from truth.