I think we'd better change the subject, my father said, once when I was driving him over to my brother's house to see his grandchildren. I had brought up the possibility of a scholarly appreciation of him, a collection of student's memories, colleagues… We ended up talking about how they had him drive a weather instrument truck, in preparation of the invasion of Japan. But his sentiment was clear, and perhaps for similar reasons there is only one known photograph of his mentor, Dr. Ray Ethan Torrey.
Not wanting to quote the gospels anymore than you, Matthew, 19:17 comes to my mind. "And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou will enter into life, keep the commandments." Not an issue at the forefront of everyone's mind, that there is only one real source of goodness, and that it is beyond the self. And anyone here blogging, for whatever reason, apparently bears the danger of calling attention to himself/herself, maybe in particular to the style blog. Hey, everyone, look at me. Yeah, I might think I'm laying down some interesting personal discovery related to Chinese medicine, the beauty of astragalus and other natural anti-inflammatories, but here I go on Insta-twit. Only a Neanderthal mind would even want to object, or the mind of a fundamentalist, the urge to call notice to the self.
So where do you go with it? What do you do? Maybe it's just more like a garden, really; you plant things, hoping they grow, in their own organic way. It isn't me. I must be humble. I just listen.
Some ancient wisdom, well regarded by enough personal experience to bear repeating, meditation and study, tells us that we get a more accurate picture of reality if we look beyond the illusions of ego and self. "This too shall pass." Take a step back. Is this particular disconnected moment really me?