They come in late, just before the kitchen closes, after the working people, decent folk,

have worked hard all night, very hard, from the beginning.  Just before five hours

of absolute running, chaos, they come in.

Adding three hours to the night,

Such that when I finally get home

after sorting it all out

I am stuck in the second rush of adrenaline to get through it, there at ten

when I finally accepted my spiritual duty,

now at four in the morning still agonizing.

And I have a long way to run, a long way to pace like a wild animal,

in defense of myself.  Just to calm down,

which is impossible.  The Leopard in me must pace on for miles

in the jungle of the night.



It's five in the morning, and to feel like a normal human being, all alone at this hour,  there is water heating, ready for (gluten free) pasta.

Toward the end of his trout entree, I am finally able to tell my friend, his summer vacation time coming, "life is suffering."  That's what we are here to learn as students.  The universal lesson on life.  You know that, I know that.  It's the lesson we get as living beings.  I nudge my still-standing chin in the direction of the people in their queer animal state, making noise.  "My view on pleasure."

There is always the suffering part of any pleasure, come later or sooner, in or out.  I can hear myself in all their talk, me thinking it was, once upon a time, fun to be so... Alcohol increasing the desire but lessening the ability...  booze having its way, picking the brain, in an enjoyable way.   The intoxicated find themselves having great verbal abilities, masters of conversation, masters of wit.

And to see now, somehow I get it now, the misery evident in people trying to enjoy themselves, it is unnerving to see.

These are moments when you realize you must help people understand the Buddha's lessons.  Your only real job ever is to help out fellow beings.


Is it worth mentioning, that life is suffering, as Buddha said..  It might not help you so much, as a writer.  For then writing too would be miserable, at attempt at pleasing one's own self, another illusion.