It had been a frightening and disheartening time, with the stresses of mustering hospitality on top of all that.  He was hitting the wine a bit too much, and that wasn't good.

Meaning...  put a wine pub in a nursing home?   

He had derived meaning from writing, the kind of meaning in life that we need, but life itself seemed to be imploding around him, and he was sick with worries...

The Christian yardstick for meaning...  wait on people who need it, the sick, the poor, the elderly, the mournful...  All are sick at heart, in some way...



I lay on my back, taking a nap, having been awake early and having to go back to work later on, in the darkened bedroom.  In my mind I was floating in the deep darkness of hyper space.   This is how beings like Jesus Christ travel, shepherding, enjoying all the life forms on the many planets.  I could imagine him there up ahead, smiling at children and little animals, a cat rolling around on its back as he passed.  I was enjoying myself there in deep hyper space too, and I pushed the thoughts from my mind about how the body would wake later, go to work, hopefully not be goaded into too much wine at the end of it by the last demands of the show put on and the people dealt with.

Jesus himself over-indulged when he first came to Earth.  "I'm a wino," he would tell people.  "Gluttonous, a wine-bibber..."  Thus his trepidation at the First Miracle, mixed feelings.  But he got his mother's point, about wine being the essence of the created universe..

I felt free of Earth based systems, the addictions pushed upon you through addictive means, the glowing screen.  I felt happy resting and floating out in hyper-space/time with Christ like beings who understood everything, and I could sort of tag along.

Xyz had kept me there late, one guy eating his onion tart with knife and fork, carefully moving the crusts over to the side of the plate, keeping the guys in the kitchen there, the kitchen waiting patiently for me to fire his entree, a flat iron steak special with peppercorn sauce, salad and fries.  I sipped my cheap pinot noir in a rocks glass, then ate my pigs feet and escargot as he ate his steak.

I had spent a good number of years waiting on the addicts of man-made Earth bound benighted systems...