Validation

I know. I do it myself. All those questions... The artist doesn't like being called into question. That he is an artist is a basic bedrock assumption. An overly complex complicated modern world raises a lot of questions, a lot of strife, a lot of doubt and anxiety. Even when you write a book there will be lots of questions. Good. As Chekhov said, a piece should raise questions, not answer them.

Write a human moment. That's all. It might not be anything you would proud of, as far as a behavior, but it's something to portray.

The writer might admit a need of being nurtured. He needs to relax, to be taken care of. He need not waste time pondering whether his book has any value. Critical, i.e., negative, attention wasn't good for Kerouac, who, like we all do, had the need of feeling justified for what he was doing. (Which is largely what his work is about.)

Once upon a time, the church passed on its own great sense of validation down to the artists it employed to do its frescoes. It seems more complicated these days.

When confidence comes that you are a writer, then you can stop the self-defeating behaviors. That seems what allowed Carver to quit drinking. Generous to others, he is providing an example of what he himself needs. He has a laugh, maybe, upon people who are not so kind as he, upon those who discriminate a book by its cover with little humility, perspective or curiosity.