The Ted Treatment, that's what we came to our 3 o'clock meeting on a Monday to talk about.   It all started, this time around, with a guy who just is trouble.  You're nice to him, it works for awhile, but then suddenly, one day, unpredictably, the guy, let's call him Tony, a telecom exec, drives a Mercedes or a Porsche, or both, nothing against him, turns into an asshole, meaning, an egotist.

Okay, and then all the blame, comes my way.  "Oh, Ted must have been treating him well, buying him drinks, yes, Ted buys a lot of drinks, let's people taste wine, so much that they don't buy any."  And then another co worker, who's habitual hardiness and hangover I put up with, pipes in and renders, "four half glasses of wine on the table, and some more, and nothing on the check."  Which I consider an exaggeration.

You sit around on a slow night, with nothing going on, and try to entertain.  You do this for several years.  In    the     same    place     .

Proposed solutions from the negotiating International Team.   A charge, servers choice, 3 wines.  On the menu.

I could just shrug.  Just trying to entertain.  People bring in wine questions, preferences that need the shrink.

Well, so much for trying to do your job.




Oh, here's a nice BMW ad.  A military jet tanker refueling plane drops down to pour coffee for your driver of latest BMW.     Apparently fuel is an infinite resource if you have the money to buy a nice motorcar.


Two days later, couple comes in, used to the basic treatment, taste what we got.  "No, sorry, no more special treatment.  We had a meeting," I tell the guy.  "Everyone was down on me.  Everyone gets treated the same."  I made no effort to save them two bar seats on wine tasting night.  That would be special treatment.  Finally, after making plans at Equinox, the two seats become available.  They order dinner.  And a 2001 Haut Brion.  Of which they make sure to share with staff and fellow customer.


I get home finally, after setting the boss up to do inventory in the cleanest way possible.  Group like things together.  And I have here a simple gift from Bruno, the chef himself. which took the same foresight and sensitivity one might not attribute him, but which makes for a decent restaurant.  One of the simplest and most respectful gifts I've ever gotten from a boss, totally quiet.  Incense sticks, more or less.