But maybe the thing is, at the end of the day, to have less karma rather than more.  Thus, a need to strip down, eliminate what you have not already bought into yet.  The quietest possible life you can maintain.

Ahh, this is it.

Don't do anything to generate more shit.  Avoid what you can, at all costs.  Do not pick up any more vices.  Do not attempt to go out on any dates. 

Because it will be shown that you have nothing, that you are nothing, that you're a total failure, so stop pretending, stop trying to be what you are not, even though to do so is incredibly sad, unwanted as far as your concerned.

Oh, but you're sent into life to learn these things.  Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart.

Writing even ain't barely worth it.  Because to do that you need some form of fuel.  (Better off simply meditating.)

Just go back to your chakra energy centers.  To your alignment.  It's not too late to be in the best shape you yourself at this stage can personally be in.

Listen to a Bruckner Symphony.

You're already so false just trying to be who you already are.  You're "not man enough" to really go fully with the learning of karma, but at least you can pass on the idea...

Something to make it not feel so bad that here now you find yourself losing the life you had, the one you even worked for, the one by which the people know you.  

Sad, all the lives you lost, just to get where you are.   All the better ones that dropped off, sort of like negative rocket stages, that you yourself missed like you miss a turn and then you're on the wrong highway.

The poor American doesn't always know how to act his social caste and calling, his accepted position in the layers of which our educations match what we do in a simple uncomplicated way.  The jukebox here is too open, and we feel it good and obliged even to sing all songs and include all voices, which in the end results, or can, in a tragedy of great confusion.  And then we don't know who we are anymore, trying to be too many people.  We try to wear too many hats in the American democracy, leaving us open to a demagog dictator want to be who tries to corral enough of the electorate.  

We have no focus.  

Furtwangler, a quiet man.  Bruckner modernist touches swirling with Beethoven continuations.  Keep your kids in school.  Have them learn an instrument, the piano.