I do much of my creative work in an almost nap-like state, meditating.  Then later on comes the earthly work of transcribing the thoughts, trusting them, not being too embarrassed by them and the sense they might make.  Most things you'd share are, in this secular day and age, of the embarrassing kind.  But, there they are.  The process is important.  And you have to let loose a bit and trust the sitting down part later on to write as well.

"Why have I acted like such a peasant, too shy to take advantage of good things and opportunities...  What strange tick in my values led me toward a humble life that would be, I don't know... poor, I guess.  You could view it from the outside as a lack of self-confidence, sure...  And maybe it is that. But, values are funny things.  They get planted in you.  You can't easily rid yourself of them for an expedited life.  They are already manifest in your sensibilities, so what can you do..."

Callings are ever-present, but it takes a long time...  It takes an honest realization of the idiot within, which is also grace, talent, manners...